I tried to pick a fight with my boyfriend last night. It was over an old favorite, SKIING. It was silliest thing ever. See, we each have our favorite “dream” cities. Mine is San Francisco (no kidding!) His is Denver. Anyway, I’ve been talking up SF non-stop (no kidding!) so he sent me the weather forecast for Denver, where it’s apparently, well, warm. You know, just to be cute. People, that’s ALL he did. He sent me a link to weather.com (yes, that very one.) And I? Of sound mind, went ballistic. I accused him of rubbing in the fact that he’s spending his single, solitary, lone vacation next year on a SKI TRIP in the Rockies instead of doing anything else that includes me.
“How could you possibly think you could ever endear me to a place when you abandon me to go skiing there every winter and to hell with your girlfriend who only gets to see you a lousy 36 hours a week! I’ll NEVER like Denver, NEVER EVER!”
OK, that’s a little exaggerated. But you get the point. I was livid. I think he really regrets sending me that link. To the, uh, weather forecast. In Denver.
Lucky for me (maybe), it’s very hard to provoke my boyfriend. He does not get provoked easily. He’s always cool, calm, and collected, and only once in the past two years have I ever heard him yell at me. And it took A LOT to get him to do that. I was really asking for it. The thing is — not that I like to be yelled at — but sometimes I just want him to call me out on my bad behavior, and not try to change the subject.
So I tried to pick a fight but all he did was apologize for sending me that (cough) insensitive forecast.
Do I feel justified? I don’t know what I’ve been feeling lately, to be honest. I’ve been in a perpetual mood. One minute I’m rolling my eyes and acting all huffy because the lady next to me on the train is cracking her gum every two seconds and god its so hot in here can’t she just STOP and the next I’m crying in the corner of the subway car, not caring who sees me.
I’ve cried twice on the subway now. TWICE. For no good reason.
In fact, I have EVERY reason to be happy. Last year was different. Last year I had every reason to be miserable. I hated my job, three of my best friends had left New York and I couldn’t just, you know, replace them, my boyfriend was long distance, and my sister was going through some devastating medical issues. None of that is true anymore. Everything is good, and all I still seem to do is cry cry cry. About … ? No one knows. I don’t even know. So how can I expect Bateman to understand?
